The Cost of Loving Someone with Mental Illness
A husband with depression. A daughter with social anxiety. A father with narcissism and drug addiction. A roommate with an eating disorder. An uncle with dementia. These relationships are so common, we forget that having a loved one with mental illness is a challenge worthy of attention.
And boy, what a substantial challenge this is. More than 1 in 5 Americans live with a mental illness, most of them have at least 3 family members or loved ones who care for them. Caregivers of adults with mental health issues spend an average of 32 hours per week providing unpaid care. As you can imagine, something else has to pay the price for all that effort- the economic impact of caregiving is about $264 billion dollars, taking into account how much caregivers miss work, are less productive at their jobs, or develop their own health issues from the stress. If you’re not a numbers person, the main message from these stats is that caregiving for a loved one with mental or emotional problems comes at a great cost.
“But wait, I’m not a ‘caregiver.’ My loved one is just going through a tough time.” Yes, I know that many people are close to someone experiencing mental health problems, but only think of themselves as caregivers in the most severe of cases. However, have you ever helped your loved one with:
Listening and giving them emotional support on a regular basis?
Paying for living expenses?
Finishing their household chores?
Facilitating doctors’ or therapy appointments?
Managing periods of intense stress?
If you said “yes” to any of those questions, then you’re a caregiver! Unfortunately, that means this role is most likely taking a toll on your own health and wellbeing. The pandemic has shifted the responsibility of mental health care out of hospitals and into the home. Without any training, we have to care for our loved ones’ conditions: We get multiple texts from them when they’re anxious and need reassurance, we take on more of the shared housework to keep things easier for them, we secretly pay off their overdue phone bills, and drop everything if they are at risk of hurting themselves. We’ll gladly do all of that for the ones we love, but that added responsibility on top of our own work and personal life is stressful at best, actively harmful at worst. A systematic review found that family members of people with severe mental illness often suffer from health issues like sleeplessness and fatigue, psychological problems like depression and burnout, and lifestyle impacts like divorce and financial strain. When we have a family member, friend, colleague or partner with an emotional or mental illness, our energy is focused on them as the “identified patients.” However, caregivers also need care too. If you can relate and are looking for help, reach out right away.
So what’s the good news? Thankfully, the burden on caregivers has gotten so bad, it’s inspiring public interest in finding solutions. In 2022, the Biden-Harris administration published a National Strategy to Support Family Caregivers that lists several actions the government will take to support family caregivers. From creating ways to reimburse caregiving through insurance to encouraging more counseling services, the movement to support family caregivers is only just beginning. KulaMind contributes to this movement by blending advanced AI technology with expert, compassionate coaching to help you cope with the challenges of caregiving. Tell us about your experiences, concerns, or questions and we promise we’re here to listen. It takes a village to help someone struggling with mental health, so remember that you’re not alone.
If you have a loved one with mental or emotional problems and need support, join KulaMind now.